For some time now I have been noting down comments made by my boys while they are in a distressed emotional state.
Originally I started to do this as a way of looking back and trying to understand how they sometimes saw the world, but, if I am honest, it soon turned into a case of no matter how hurtful they were, noting them down was as much for my amusement of what they had said, as it was for trying to understand where they were coming from.
Recently I asked Beeswax if he would mind me putting some of his comments in my blog. His response was “Do what you want, you usually do” but this weekend, shortly after coming down from his latest emotional tirade, he started chuckling to himself. When I asked him what he was finding so funny he said ‘Nothing really! I was just thinking. You could fill a whole blog just with my comments when I am on “Planet Beeswax”.’
As a rule, Beeswax cannot tolerate/”does not do” vulnerability. So when he does let his guard down, even for a short moment, I accept it and try to see it as evidence that, despite his denials, I do matter to him. And, although his comments can be hurtful and need careful responses from me, I cannot help sometimes chuckling at them.
Here are some of my favourites:-
- You are a bitch because you don’t give into me!
- Nobody lets me do what I want, when I want to do it!
- Nobody ever gives in to me!
- All the women I know are moody cows!
- ALL adults lie! ALL the time!
- I hate ‘time in’. Why do you make me stay with you, when I don’t want to? You are the last person I want to be with!
- You let daddy interfere in our arguments! Tell him to butt out!
- Why does school have to know if I have hurt you or Buzzbee? It is none of their “’beeswax”!
- School are so sexist! They give the girls high scores and never the boys! The girls get away with everything!
- I am not allowed to go to off site when at school and places my friends can. Just because the adults who care for me are afraid of their own shadows!
- Computers are a child’s right! You don’t let me go on the computer, Wii or DS! Very much! I should be able to play my DS whenever I please! It is mine! I have the right to play on your computer and Wii, when I want too!
- You make me say “sorry” to people when I have been rude or hurt them and then you give me suggestions about what I could do to make it better! Why should I apologise? It is not my fault they are too sensitive!
- You make me tidy my bedroom! School have cleaners to do that for me, so why don’t we?
- You have taken my TV out of my room. Why does it matter to you if I watch it at 3am in the morning? If it wakes you get ear plugs!
- You don’t trust me! So I steal everyone’s stuff and sometimes food!
- I am always getting told off by everyone for the way I speak to women! If they don’t like it they shouldn’t try to talk to me!
- You give my brother lots of sweets and I never get any! School even say I eat too many sweets!
- You make me go to bed when it is bedtime and I am tired, even if I don’t want to!
- You make me play with Buzzbee when you think I have been mean to him! I can’t help it if he is so annoying!
- You force me to go to my room to “cool off”, if I hit or throw things at you, dad or Buzzbee! So what if things get broken! So what if I hurt you and you need a little space to think before you can talk to me! I suggest you learn to dodge better!
- You let Buzzbee get away with everything! Ok you tell him off and he has a consequence if he is throwing a strop or loses his temper, or swears, or hits out, but he says he is ‘sorry’ and that is the end of it.
- You expect me to do chores and don’t let me do anything fun until I have done them! What do you do all week? Sit on your backside and watch TV?