“When I grow up I want to be a big boy”

I had intended to write something different this week but over the last couple of nights Buzzbee and I have been having some wonderful bedtime chats about his favourite obsession – when he grows up, or when will he be as big as his brother (who I would have to say is not that big. They are both quite dinky for their ages).

Both my boys are deep thinkers and sometimes this works in everyone’s favour and sometimes it is the boys’ curse. Last week I posted some of the wonderful gems that Beeswax has come up with over the time he has been living with us and, although they can be hurtful, he has found a way to try and communicate his distress to me.

Buzzbee and I have always had a different kind of relationship when it comes to talking about what he has on his mind. I can’t say that his curiosity is always healthy, and some of the questions or thoughts he comes up with are quite alarming, or almost bring me to tears at the thought of a child his age worrying/knowing about topics that would unsettle even the most emotionally confident adult, but there is part of me that loves his way of thinking.

Yes it is often very literal or extremely eccentric, but it has always given me possibly the best insight into how he views the world.

Here are some of the wonderful plans he has for his future along with the odd nugget that lets us know he is always afraid of losing a mum again.

When I am a big boy …..

  • Will I be older than Beeswax?
  • Will I be taller than Beeswax?
  • Will I be faster than Beeswax?
  • Will I be stronger than Beeswax?
  • Will I still have to wear trousers with adjustable waists?
  • Will I have to go to ‘Looniversity’?
  • Will I have to help more around the house and still keep my bedroom tidy?
  • Will I be allowed to watch ‘Harry Potter’ films and play adult computer games?
  • Will I be allowed to have LOTS of girlfriends? Of course I will need more pocket money if you say Yes!
  • Will I be allowed to stay up all night and do what I want?
  • Will I see my other family?
  • Will I still have my own bedroom?
  • Will I still be your ‘little boy’?
  • Will you still love me and sing ‘Hushabye Mountain’ to me when I am sad?

When I am a grown up……..

  • I want to be everyone’s friend and have them all like me.
  • I want to be a teacher and help children who are afraid to learn like me (No actually I want to be my headteacher’s boss)
  • If I can’t be a teacher I want to still help children like me or become the king of England, or maybe just a professional footballer.
  • I want to do all my shopping on the internet. Forever! I hate Shopping! Why do girls like it so much?
  • I want to be paid lots and lots and lots and lots of money to do my job and then I can buy you a pony (you are too short for a horse), Daddy a BIG motorbike (then again it would have to be small he is short too), I could buy Nanny a quadbike and Grandad Liverpool FC. I could pay someone to marry uncle Humbug.  I could then also pay for all the damage Beeswax and Me have done to your walls.
  • I want a really big house with a humongous garden, 7 fast cars (1 for each day), a giant swimming pool with lots of slides, at least 5 dogs and cats, a Dragon, a Giganotosaurus, a playroom with a Playstation, Xbox, Wii and a laptop for World of Warcraft. I will still have my bedroom at home if I need it, won’t I?
  • I want lots of children, then my sons and I can play for Grandad’s football team and I can buy my daughters all the pretty things they like and they can become famous Ballet dancers. I don’t mind if I give birth to them all or if I adopt some of them
  • I want to spoil my children every day and give them everything they want, so they know I love them!
  • I want a wife to look after everything and love me!  If I don’t have a wife. Mummy I will need you to move in with me, but don’t think that means I can’t do it on my own. I can!
  • I want to be like you, only a man not a lady! I am not having my dingle chopped off for no one. No way, no never!
  • I don’t want to let you down and mess everything up!
  • I don’t want you to miss me if I move away.

2 thoughts on ““When I grow up I want to be a big boy”

  1. Honey, thank you for sharing these thoughts from Buzzbee. So touching and really do give an insight into one child’s emotions (being at the beginning of the adoption assessment process I read a lot about how parenting an adopted child has to be different but it is useful to read concrete examples). I have just sat and read the whole Blog. Whatever you are doing today, remember that one person out here thinks you’re clearly a fab Mum!

    • Ah,Thank you. It is hard but worth it when you see how far they have come. Today buzzbee and I are actually having some one on one time together and have just got back from a fun morning swimming (a year ago he was still afraid of even paddling his feet now he is leaping off the side and speeding down water slides. Yeah)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s