“What do you call a collection of Professionals?”

Who knows! But it can be pretty overwhelming to look back over how many have come in and out you lives during this process.

At present we are in the process of taking that final step toward becoming a ‘forever family’. Barring needing a couple of details from social services and my hands not completely curling up with cramp from filling in each application for the boys in triplicate – we should be in a position to submit the forms very soon.

Despite the fact that we will be submitting the AO paperwork very soon, the boys have recently met yet another new social worker, bringing the total to 5 (although really number 3 shouldn’t be counted as they met her one day and she left the next).
Bumble and I have been lucky enough to have kept the same social worker throughout our adoption journey and both she and our PASW have been godsends, although I know there have been times when it won’t have felt like it to them. I have been grateful for their support. We are one of the lucky ones – we have SWs we can work with.

Recently during one of the many meetings I needed to attend for one or other of my boys, the topic of support ‘post adoption’ came up.

Currently we are lucky enough to have a myriad of support from several different sources and we have always been aware that there will come a time when this support is lost, simply because the boys’ legal status will change (hooray!!!!).

But, this has got me thinking! Exactly how many professionals to date, have the four of us come into contact with since Bumble and I decided to make our first enquiry to adopt and the boys were taken into care?

3 IROs (Independent reviewing officers)
5 health visitors
2 paediatricians
5 CAMHS therapists
2 counsellors
1 PACT advisor
4 Adoption support workers
12 foster carers (at least) including the boys carers and ones we’ve met through respite
4 Educational Psychologists
2 Behavioural support workers
1 Virtual schools officer (thankfully same person for both boys)
6 LEA statement reviewing officers
16 Social Workers (well probably more but my best estimate) (again includes when we have offered respite)
6 crisis support workers from local care agency

Wow, scary! I am sure that I have missed off some many people and this list does not even include schools, nursery, GPs, Dentists, opticians etc.

I cannot tell a lie: it will be a relief not to feel like we are permanently living under an oversized microscope, but I understand people’s concerns. At this moment in time it is hard to imagine what it will feel like, when so many of these people have been part of our lives for several years now. They are like our annoying, nosey, frustrating, interfering, caring, supportive and thoughtful, distant family members. You know the ones! You can’t live with them, but it will feel weird without them.
That is not to say the moment the Judge signs the papers everyone will spontaneously disappear in a puff of smoke. We know there will still be support out there for us when we need it. Where will we get that support from? Well, I guess that will depend on our needs. Maybe it will simply come from our family and friends, or maybe we will need to seek more experienced support from Post Adoption Support or the ‘wise old owls’ at the monthly Attachment Support Group.

No matter where it comes from, the most important for me to remember is, no matter what has happened in the past, I must never be afraid to ask for help if we need it (and pray that we don’t have to fight too much to get the support we need).

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3 thoughts on ““What do you call a collection of Professionals?”

  1. Hi there and thank you for visiting my blog!! Lovely to meet a fellow adopter! And what an adopter you are! Three all at the same time? I think you are pretty amazing. It is wonderful when those papers are signed and you are, in theory, a regular family. I missed our SWs if I’m honest – they were lovely people. Funnily enough we have one of the same SWs again for our second adoption which is really nice. You have met with a lot of professionals in your journey so far. Probably more than was needed by the sounds of it (I will have to read the rest of your blog now and catch up). It’s hard when you meet a SW and form a relationship and then they leave or are reassigned. It happens quite a lot. We have to be quite open with a lot of different people and we don’t want to have to keep starting again – rather like the children we adopt. It’s a good lesson in empathy and understanding in my experience. Good luck with your form filling. Are you able to do it all on the computer? We were able to download our forms so that made life so much easier because you can copy and paste information. I look forward to chatting more.

    Best wishes, Gem xx

    • I have 2 boys (12 & 7) the third is my biggest kid, my husband. The inspiration for the blog title is my 3 men’s personalities and the fact the boys for as long as they I have known them regularly say ‘would you be a honey and …………’.

      I think when it comes to all the professionals it has become very apparent to them that not only do the boys find it stressful but adding new ones into the mix winds me up too. On the plus side Beeswax finds it easier to cope with it now because has realised that I do actually get how hard it is for him.

      Thanks for the tip about the forms I didn’t know you could download the forms that it will make life so much easier.

      I look forward to following your posts.

  2. Pingback: Our ‘Shamrock’ | 3beesandahoney

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