This week’s Adoption Social #WASO post theme is ‘forever’ and in all honesty I was stumped on what I could possibly write for this post.
I thought about writing about having the boys and how we morphed from being just the boys’ respite foster carers, to their forever family.
I thought about writing about how the concept of forever for Beeswax is terrifying and almost too painful to think about, let alone trust can ever happen.
Or, I could have begun writing about the feeling of forever hitting my head against a brick wall when it comes to dealing with schools and professionals in the pursuit of getting the needs of my boys’ met. But if I was to start write along those lines, I would possible invented a new cure for insomnia through the length of the post.
So what to write then?
In the course of trying to write this post while sat (finally) having some down time in our Center Parcs Villa, waiting for the water to finish filling up my Jacuzzi bath (Gloat Gloat Gloat) after an unwanted visitor, I started to think about the word forever again and how much of our family day to day life the word is used in conversations – “I am forever hitting my head against a brick wall with the professionals and school” being just one example.
I have an idea!
Here I go! I will write about the amount of times we use the words.
But, no! Just as I begin, Bumble suggests a shorter and more uplifting idea for this post (although my ramblings have now gone on for sometime now).
More than 6 years ago we met a little boy who was so terrified of water that his foster carer had the most awful time getting him to wash his face and bathtime was just a ‘no go’ area for him. Daffodil (FC) spent days and hours gentle trying to coax him and after almost 6 months she triumphed and got that little boy to sit in 3 inches of bath water (washing his hair, well that is a whole other tale).
As you have probably guessed that little boy was Buzzbee. No one really understands where his anxiety came from with water but anyone who was ever in earshot of him when panic had set in couldn’t help but feel anxious and emotional too – It used to break my heart to hear him (and very nearly my eardrums).
By the time the boys were ready to be placed for adoption Daffodil had made progress with Buzzbee as far as having a bath and washing his hair goes and on one very rare and receptive occasion on an extremely hot day, she along with the help of her grandson convinced him to test out the paddling pool in her back garden (he stood up the entire time but he did get in the water).
Ok so you are getting the idea that Buzz did not like water and it had already taken what felt like to outsiders forever just to get him to paddle his feet in a paddling pool or sit in 3 inches of bath water and taking him to a swimming pool felt like it may never happen.
It has taken us 5 years and an awful lot of trust and bravery from Buzzbee and his determination to forever do it by himself and in his own time – he has gone from a little boy who wouldn’t get into a swimming pool or a bath with a nice amount of water, to a young man who over the past 3 years has slowly grown in confidence in the water and forever pushed himself that little further and this weekend has gone from not only realising that if he tries swimming without a float we won’t let him drown, to swimming confidently around the pool unaided (Bumble and I were the nervous wrecks instead).
But, while for all of us this was something to celebrate, Buzzbee had decided to take his success one step further.
He is no longer afraid of the water slides and not only was he prepared to go down them unsupported by Bumble or Beeswax but he played on our excitement at his success and told us that he had been waiting FOREVER to be allowed to go down the rapids with his daddy and Waxy (OK, now I am not very good with the water slides myself but the rapids just terrify me – I have been down them once this weekend and that was one too many times for me).
Bumble agreed to take him on it and if I am honest I didn’t really put up much of an argument – I thought it was a step too far for him and he would pull out last minute but not only did he not back away from it but he loved it so much he wanted Bumble to keep taking him back down it and announced (not for the first time I must add)
“I am going to live here forever”
I could gush on about this but when it comes down to it, Buzzbee’s slow and long transition from being terrified of water to the water baby I have snoring in the bedroom next to me, constantly reminds me that both my boys are forever surprising me with determination to overcome the obstacles that life throws their way.