“This was a happy/sad memory week, mummy”

Over the weekend this was Buzzbee’s description after spreading Bumble’s mum’s ashes with the boys and my father-in-law, at a spot where she loved to visit with the boys and Beedog and watch the dragonflies hovering around this time of year.
At the time of my Mother-in-law’s funeral it was felt that it would be too much for the boys to cope with but we wanted the boys to feel they were still included so we planted a rosebush which coincidentally has the same name as her and the boys asked if at a later time when “daddy and grandpa” were ready could we spread roses on the water at their favourite spot to say “goodbye”.

I would be lying if I didn’t say it was emotional and despite neither of my boys outwardly showing their pain. There endless chatter and flip flopping mood swings, spoke volumes.
However, a midst the solemnity of the event, all including my FIL could not help bursting into laughter at Bumble’s expense and agree that where ever ‘granny’ was now, she would have been laughing too.
Bumble slipped on the bank and fell feet first into the water and ended up with very wet trouser, shoes and a muddy bottom (he claims Beedog got the bank wet).


So, Buzzbee’s statement, I thought was (in Waxy’s words) ‘bang on’ and I told Buzzbee this and he was horrified.
“Mummy you forgot all the other happy memories we had this week!”
He was right – Grandpa’s visit brought happy memories as well sad ones.


This post was written as part of ‘The Adoption Social’ memory box


2 thoughts on ““This was a happy/sad memory week, mummy”

  1. Such a poignant post yet a reminder that, whilst we adults feel the negatives more deeply, children feel all the emotions and our experience differs hugely from theirs. Healing thoughts to your family on your loss xx

    • Thank you, it is rare Buzz will talk about his loss but when he does, he has a beautiful perspective to explain how he feels about losing MIL, my nan and the 4 other family members who have died since he moved in with us.

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