Welcome to the ‘Trauma Bond’ Olympics, WASO fans.
For a little over 2 weeks, our youngest competitor, Buzzbee has been competing in the highly misunderstood ‘Trauma Bond’ Olympics with our eldest competitor, Beeswax.
The last 4 days have seen our eldest competitor return to his training ground to regroup, and our youngest competitor taking advantage of the rest period to attempt to re-focus himself in preparation for the return from training of his greatly adored idol, Beeswax, but as the days drew closer the nervous anticipation could be felt throughout the Home and Away training grounds.
This weekend’s event have already been in full swing for several hours and the adjudicator’s therapeutic mojo has already boarded a plane destined for Bora Bora , after having to issue numerous warning to the competitors about un-sportsman like behaviour and a breakdown in team communications – only 2 days left to go!
Gold, Silver and Bronze medals are already stacking up in the ‘stroppy relay’ and ‘extreme hurling/throwing’ events. As well as the ‘extreme control championship triathlon’ and ‘0-100 dysregulation race.
As always we have a colourful array of skills in explicit and dramatic insults, swearing and threats and it is going to go down to the wire who will be awarded the gold medal in this extremely stressful event – I can tell you one person who will not be winning any medals, and that is the adjudicator!
Over at the trampoline arena we can see that the competitors are gearing themselves up for their second attempt today at proving they are the ‘Ultimate’ champion at outdoing the other with backflips, summersaults and not forgetting our youngest competitor’s signature street dancing dance off challenge to his older, yet more inexperienced competitor – here is hoping that this event runs without the need for the adjudicator to issue more warnings – Oops spoke too soon! The adjudicator has just had to step in and call a 10 minute ‘half-time’ after unauthorised equipment has been taken into the arena to gain advantage over each other and tensions are rising.
During the afternoon we have witnessed Beeswax warming up for the ‘hurdling and 100 metre dash’ after being unsuccessful in the ‘Wind your little brother up until he explodes’ event but as of yet he is undecided whether he should enter this event, knowing that it may result in an electronic disqualification – No! He has thrown caution to the wind and not only entered this event but took his time and arrived at the finish 1 hour later than expected, and completely unable to understand why the adjudicator is upset with him.
As the day draws to a close and the competitors begrudgingly retire to their separate changing rooms to watch separate movies, while the adjudicator takes a deep breath and FINALLY manages to prepare herself something to eat before sitting down to watch ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, while not being able to help herself, overanalysing the events of today – Where did she go wrong? What could she have done better? Is she out of her depth? Is this it, is should she start getting used to seeing many more LONG and TENSE events every weekend?
Tomorrow is another but one in which we will undoubtedly see more ‘Trauma Bond Olympic’ activities with the return of the track and motor events -‘supermarket dash’, ‘car wrestling’ and not to be missed ‘fastest to make mum pull the car over for safety’ race – Both competitors are highly decorated medal holders and record-breakers in these event and they will be hoping to add yet more medals to their collection.
But who will win Gold and will they succeed in re-traumatising themselves and each other in the process for the umpteenth time today?
How many more weekends will this event continue for?
When will the external officials sit up and take notice of the repeated electronic communications and requests to look into the needs of the competitors, as well as their referee and adjudicator who are beginning to question their own skills in mediating between both competitors?
Only time will tell! Watch this space!