Tag Archive | Control

Moving on up through the tears

There has been a distinct lack of post from me lately and it probably won’t come as a surprise to some of you the reasons for this, but it hasn’t stopped me beating myself up about it. Yes! I know it is not helpful to anyone, me being so hard on myself, but as ‘Blame Honey for everything’ seems to be a common theme at the moment. I guess if I can’t beat them, I might as well join them. This way maybe I won’t feel the painful sting left by the unending feeling of desperation and isolation.

Last weekend was a difficult weekend.

NO WAIT! Last weekend was a complete mess! Decisions were made that I have resisted for so long, and as I sank deeper into the dark pit of failed attempts at trying to therapeutically parent an angry and emotional, vulnerable teenager, relationships and emotional health crashed and burned along with it.

I guess you would say…… We hit rock bottom! (I certainly did anyway).

hittherocks

Calling the police on your child was never going to be an experience that I could or would relish. After Waxy’s early life experiences, he is understandably anxious (and angry) with the ‘boys and girls in blue’, and for a very long time I have used this knowledge as justification for not drawing a line in the sand sooner – Some would say I was being too soft and making excuse for his actions, and in some ways they were right and I wish it was as simple as that, but as many of you will know:

Nothing is ever simple when it comes to living on ‘Planet Adoption’.

So if in the past I have been a repeat offender and tried to manage the consequences and restitutions ‘in house’, which has almost certainly backfired, what was different about the weekend this time that prompted me to change my mind and report Waxy to the police for criminal damage?

Was it, just simply I reached the end of a very long and crumpled straw and felt I was left with no other option?

Was it because this time it wasn’t just myself or an inanimate object of some kind that was at risk of harm? He had lost control and Buzz, Beedog and Waxy himself were all at risk of serious harm.

Or, was it the fact that this time Waxy had lost so much control that he was displaying everything for the world (okay neighbourhood, which he would never usually do) to see, and I no longer felt safe in my own home?

I could hypothesise and dissect the ins and outs of the events of last weekend but it wouldn’t help anyone.

Nor would be having a VERY long rant about Post Adoption Support, or should I say the lack of it (5 minute phone call, 5 days after the incident happened and complete disinterest from PASW about the impact the weekend had on Buzzbee or myself – she just wanted to tell me how she had had a lovely long and pleasant chat with Waxy and he only did what he did because he felt I was being too strict – Hmmmm so wanting to treat my sons to a day out with Nando’s for supper is being too strict is it?).

Anyway, this weeks’ WASO theme is ‘Moving on up’ and I suppose through all my waffling, I am trying to come to some kind of rational conclusion as to the fact that I cannot change what has happened in the past, and while it WILL this time take me some time to bounce back, we have hit the bottom so there is only one way we can now go and I need to move on and move up (and not move out as I was ready to do Sunday).

How I am going to do this?

I really don’t know at the moment.

I guess for now, all I can do is wait out the storm and not beat myself up so much for events and choices that are not in my control, and pray that one day our family’s equilibrium will be once again be restored.

lifeisabike

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Return of the ‘Oops box’

This is getting to become a bit of a bad habit for me, but I have yet again found myself in the position of putting a planned #WASO post on the backburner in favour of a post that has dominated my mind and…… well, quite frankly most of the last week.

2 years ago I wrote a post about managing Waxy’s ‘squirrelling’ and ‘itchy fingers’ and the positive impact our ‘Oops Box’ had in reducing his shame level.

In the past 2 years, we have needed to use the box less and less.

We have in fact for sometime not felt the need to bring the box out at all …… well, not until a couple of weeks ago anyway.

Bumble and I (as well as my parents) had begun to notice that minor items were disappearing and so were small amounts of coins. The insignificance of some of the items at first had Bumble and I convinced that we had simply misplaced or lost them ourselves, but when my parents cautiously approached the topic of container filed loose change they found concealed behind Waxy’s bed while my dad was measuring it before he began planning how to convert it into a more teenager friendly and functional bed for Waxy.

Waxy does not have loose change. He has a ‘go henry’ card.  We agreed with him some time ago that the card would be a safer option than change, as there had been accusations in the past from peers and he had no proof as to how he had obtained the money in his possession.

My parents’ discomfort wasn’t because of the money they had found (they are used to the ‘squirrel’ moment too).Their discomfort was because they knew that had to confess to have had their suspicions that he was up to his old tricks after our stay over the Christmas holidays, but they had wanted to believe that it was their carelessness, rather than imagine that their grandson would ‘steal’ from them!

I have to confess, I was mortified but we agreed to bide our time and resurrect the ‘oops box’ in the hope that it would give him an opportunity to ‘make it right’ without him being overwhelmed with shame.  We also spoke to school and explain how we planned to manage it, only to be informed that they have also had their suspicions but had been taking a more direct approach with him – Great now I know why he is so confrontational at home at the moment! So helpful!

However, our plans have not exactly gone to plan and have come to a head before we could “bring out the box” – Waxy was caught red-handed trying to sneak money he had “found” in Bumble’s car up to his bedroom secreted in the washing basket.

DSCN0106Unfortunately for him, he was using a washing basket with holes in and the sound of several heavy coins crashing onto the laminate floor, was not a sound he could muffle easily.

 

Waxy’s heckles shot up before either Bumble and I could respond. Waxy was arming himself for a fight. He was convinced he was going to be for the high jump and while Bumble and I had no intention at that point of talking to him about it, other than to ask him to pass us the money that had fallen on the floor. I know I failed miserably at not looking disappointed that he had chosen to steal from his dad, and that alone was enough to kick off his shame response.

We have since discussed the return of these ‘impulses’ with him and the consequences this will have for the immediate future (not putting temptation in his way, closer supervision and of course the return of the ‘Oops box’).

I have to believe that we have caught him early this time and that with the knowledge of this issue is out there now and hasn’t changed how much we love him, will mean that this will be just another blip on the bumpy trauma path through adolescence.

 

 

“Goodnight! Sleep tight”

For as long as I have known Buzz, he has always gone through a short period of time, each year, where has struggled to settle to bed at night. Bumble and I have always felt that this was linked to seasonal light changes – nights getting darker quicker.

In fact, although it took us a couple of years for the penny to drop, Buzzbee has ALWAYS struggled with the transition of light to dark. We have had many tricky car journeys where he has transformed from a calm and relaxed passenger into………. A helium filled Tasmanian Devil!

But I digress. Over the years we have tried everything we can think of to ‘reset’ Buzz’s bedtime habits and get him back into his bedtime routine. Usually we would be talking 3 or 4 weeks of exhausting and loooooong evenings sat at the top of the stairs, returning him to his room and trying to prevent the boys having the opportunity to communicate (I won’t even go into the lengths Waxy used to go to to ensure Buzz was high as a kite so that he didn’t have to get ready for bed).   Bumble and I found these ‘Phases’ stressful and they left us feeling confused and lost for ideas (traditional and unconventional).

While the Bumble and I often despaired about the longevity of Buzz’s seasonal bedtime Olympics, we clung to the knowledge that bedtime WILL return to normal eventually and we would be able to once again have ‘adult time’ evenings.

I suppose you could say, every year we experienced our own bedtime routine ‘groundhog day’.

Over the past 8 months everyday has been “groundhog day” with Buzz and his bedtime struggles. Currently Bumble and I count it as a ‘win’ at bedtime if we manage to settle Buzz to sleep by 10pm.

Buzz fights sleep and he will go to great lengths to drag us into a battle of wills, irrespective of the fact that he will openly tell us he is “knackered”. He was embarking on a path of self-destruction and always felt bad about himself the next morning, but appeared to not be able to help himself each night and the cycle of chaos would begin again.

In the past couple of months, we have found a couple of tricks that help him finally drop off, but they have only been successful if we have first endured his marathon sleep avoidance mania – Bumble and I were confused as to why he still needed to go completely ‘bonkers’ before he would allow us to ‘sausage roll’ (swaddle snuggly) him in his quilt and blanket and if necessary use deep pressure back rubbing until Buzz begins to gently ‘coo’, which is his cue that he has begun to self-sooth.

I don’t know why it had never dawned on us before, but being swaddled makes Buzz feel safe and secure.

So, why couldn’t he allow us to do this from the very beginning of his bedtime routine?

Buzz has always had a fascination for building dens or creating hideaways and occasionally went through spells of sleeping in his pop-up play tent or under a pretty fantastic, blanket construction. But each were always short-lived. However looking back over the last couple of years, the signs have been there all the time.dogbed

  • Buzz sleeps with hundreds of soft toys on his bed and my parents used to joke about the fact there were so many teddies that it was hard to imagine how Buzz could even manage to get into bed let alone sleep in it.
  • Buzz ALWAYS insists on his bed having at least 2 sides against a wall and ALWAYS he has to have his head facing the door.
  • Buzz ALWAYS went to sleep quicker in our bedroom – we have a 4 poster bed with drapes. Although there are other reasons too.

Finally:-

  • When we go camping and he has to sleep in a tent pod and when we sleep at my parent’s caravan, he falls asleep with very little fuss – both pretty compact and contained.

However, while staying at my parent’s house this Christmas, our suspicions were confirmed by Buzzbee while we all ate our Christmas lunch, but we didn’t fully understand the depth of his anxiety until an overnight stay in a premier lodge while visiting Bumble’s family – I could quite easily write an entire post just about this one night, and maybe I will later in the week.

The boys have slept at my parents on numerous occasions and while Buzz has been a little more challenging to settle and is quite vocal in his sleep, not to mention being unbelievably restless all night, he has eventually fallen asleep.

However, this year Buzz took the sleeping arrangements into his own hands and chose to create his own space in the bedroom with the help of the puppies’ playpen* and a large red blanket.bedtime1

* Before I go any further. I feel the need to let readers know that it was Buzzbee’s idea and choice to sleep surrounded by the puppy play pen, and he had full control over whether he stayed inside it or removed it. Our only rule was that he was not allowed to lock himself in the pen.

Settling any child on Christmas eve can be a challenge for any parent, let alone a parent who is trying to settle a child who is experiencing sleep difficulties.   With the support from my parents we kept to the boys’ routine and settled the boys into their beds, fully prepared for Buzzbee’s bedtime games, but after 30 minutes of listening out for sound or signs of movement. We cautiously popped our head around the bedroom door, expecting to hear a little voice excitedly begin chattering to us. Instead, all we could hear was gentle breathing and cooing. BUZZBEE WAS ASLEEP!!!!! And, not only did he fall asleep rapidly and without fussing, but he was sound asleep and relaxed – Buzzbee has always slept with his fists tightly clenched and tightly scrunched up in a ball. The young man snoozing in front of us, was snoozing peacefully with his whole body open wide (my dad joked that he looked like he was ready for a pinup photoshoot).

Buzzbee slept ALL night and there was not a peek from him, something we are not used too because he has always shouted and sworn loudly throughout the night for as long as I can remember, and as I said earlier, he is always thrashing around. In fact, we had 3 blissful, undisturbed night’s sleep

Okay, confession time! Buzzbee’s bed is in our bedroom at my parents and I am an incredibly light sleeper, but I have got used to his mumblings and my sleep being disrupted. So when I couldn’t hear him in the night, I jumped out of bed, panicking something was wrong and wanted to poke him to check he was still alive – My parents found this highly amusing.

Over Christmas lunch, one of my parents (can’t remember which) joked about Buzzbee’s sleeping arrangements and asked out of curiosity why he liked sleeping in the puppy pen.

“I feel safe when I am in it. Nothing and nobody can get at me, that’s why.”

He felt safe. How did I not think of it before?

Fast forward a couple of weeks and several attempts at different ideas for creating a ‘safe sleeping environment’, some of which were almost suitable and certainly helped reduce his bedtime anxiety. However, each of the ideas had one fault- they were not particularly transferable and really we needed something that would be safe and that we could take with us when visiting family or going on holiday.

After several hours of research and long discussions about what we felt we needed from a portable sleep tent, we discovered the ‘Privacy Pop’ which ticked every box not only for Bumble and I, but for Buzzbee too.

And, boy does he love it!popup

 

The Weekly Adoption Shout Out

Throwing away the rule book

In the last couple of weeks, Waxy has begun to struggle with the thought of returning to school and starting year 10, along with the fear of whether he can maintain the high standard his school have come to expect from him.

In an attempt to distract him for a few a days before returning, Bumble and I arranged to borrow my parents’ caravan for the bank holiday weekend and, as an added bonus, Nanny and Grandad Bee decided to join us for 24hrs, so we could celebrate their wedding anniversary and my upcoming birthday. The plan was perfect. 2 happy boys, 1 relaxed dog and 2 (semi) relaxed parents.

A completely predictable weekend, with no dramatic changes to the boys’ routine!

But! Our weekend did not start off as we had planned. Another guest was coming to the party and, while I adore her dearly and she is my only niece, her arrival and announcement that she wishes to spend the weekend with us, because her big brothers were being mean to her, has meant that we have had to throw out our ‘safe’, ‘predictable’ rule book and drive by the seat of our pants, hoping and praying that it didn’t blow up in our faces.

Waxy and Buzzbee are very set in their ways, as is my niece (she is daddy’s princess after all), so potentially we could have been ‘lighting the blue touch paper’ very early in the weekend – we got close a couple of times with Buzz and ‘Bossybee’, but she can wrap them both around her little finger so there was no need for the riot shields.

One of the biggest differences between the boys’ routine and Bossy’s, is that Waxy and Buzz are early to bed and early morning risers, whereas Bossy and her brothers go to bed when they are tired and wake up late in the morning.   Okay the mornings were not a problem. The boys are happy to relax and chill out in the caravan in the morning, until Bossy woke up, or I was brave enough to enter the ‘Bear’s cave’.

Night times on the other hand have been a little more challenging, and really this is the area where Bumble and I have had to throw away our rule book. While my parents were still staying with us, we all started out with the best intentions of letting Buzz and Bossy camp out in the same room with each other on the agreement that when we say it was time to settle to sleep, they would settle down – Haha! Who were we kidding? The little devils finally fell asleep at midnight and that wasn’t until all the adults had gone to bed and they both decided it would be more fun to camp in the lounge while Bumble and I were sleeping on the sofa bed. Just in case you are wondering. Waxy chose not to camp with them but he was not averse to attempting a not-so covert mission of winding his brother and cousin up, and last night wasn’t much better.

The only saving grace was Buzzbee is a creature of habit and more often than not once he is asleep, he will sleep for at least 8 hours, so both mornings he has in fact slept in like his cousin, just maybe not quite as late as she was. Beeswax on the other hand never sleeps in. Well he did once, after a wedding reception, a long, long time ago. But on the bright side he somehow managed to fall asleep despite the ‘Buzz and Bossy show’ going on around him.

The one thing that did put Beeswax’s nose out of joint was that he no longer had his little brother fighting to gain his attention. Now normally Waxy moans about how Buzzbee drives him mad always pestering him to play childish games. And Waxy loves to wind him up by refusing to play with him. But when Buzz has someone else to play with, Waxy misses the fun and to be honest he misses the control.

Another entry we wavered from our rule book this weekend is to keep Buzzbee away from wrestling in strange situations, like holidays. Buzzbee loves his WWE – he has almost as many wrestling figures as dinosaurs! OK, that’s a lie – he has about a tenth as many wrestling figures as he has dinosaurs, but that is still a lot! At home the wrestlers go for each other much like, er, dinosaurs would. So you can imagine how out of control his play can get on holiday. So no wrestlers on holiday! Except for one teeny weeny problem – the wrestling show at the caravan site. So not only did we have to bring some of his wrestling figures along, but there were real life wrestlers! Full sized! Very full and very sized! Don’t tell Bumble, but the photos of Buzz and Bossy with huge, muscular, freshly oiled wrestlers was more for my benefit than the children’s!

So I guess the moral of this weeks’ #WASO tale from me is….. Sometimes there are some advantages to throwing out the rulebook!

wrestling

“How to train your dragon”

I have a feeling the universe is angry with me this week.

Another hand grenade has been thrown into ‘the hive’ but this time it has been directed straight at me and has knocked me clean off my feet.

kaboom

Can I get back up? I am not sure but that won’t stop me trying.

I don’t want to go into details at the moment. I honestly don’t think I have the strength. Maybe a little while down the line I will be able to do it but not until I can make sense of it myself.

And then add to an already stressful and distressing time, my blasted car breaking down on the afternoon that Buzzbee and I were planning to leave to go down to my parents’ caravan for a couple of days and prepare it for the people who would be renting it this weekend.

car

What do you get? A mummy who is not firing on all cylinders but still needs to therapeutically parent her youngest son.

In an attempt to put some distance between the mess and the chaos which has been caused by individuals who should by now know better but are STILL failing to ‘GET IT’, Buzzbee and I continued with our plan to go down to the caravan but for one night instead of two.

We were determined to continue with our plan to have some fun and chill out, and Buzzbee made sure we made the most of it and filled every micro moment with activities and chatter – I just followed his lead to the point of exhaustion (mine not his).

In an attempt to slow Buzz down in the evening, he suggested ‘camping out’ in the living area of the caravan (a choice of 3 bedrooms not good enough for him), and watch a movie together. Buzzbee chose ‘How to train your dragon’ but 30 minutes in crashed completely while still snuggled into my side *warm, fuzzy mummy gushing feelings*. I continued to watch the film (nothing better on the T.V and I certainly didn’t want to wake Buzz by moving him before he was completely asleep).

dragon training

Maybe it was the lack of sleep over the past few nights or simply because I had been so busy all day, I had not had time to worry about the hand grenade, but I began thinking about all the goings on at home and yes the tears began to flow but only for a short while. Something in the film caught my attention and tickled my funny bone without even knowing it.

I began thinking. Maybe I could make a ‘How to train an adoptive mummy dragon’ instruction manual for Beeswax’s school and all the so called professionals who don’t ‘get it’ and would rather blame the parents instead of looking at the impact of the trauma that their child has experienced.

It is a common joke in our home that Bumble married a dragon (my Chinese zodiac sign) and this is probably what had sparked my amusement. But – I wonder, what if someone was to write a manual?

Would it highlight some key pieces of advice to help the reader have a better understanding of how to get the best out of the ‘dragon’ they need to work with?

Maybe, it would look a little like this! *tongue in cheek*

“How to train your adoptive mummy dragon”

  1. If through lack of understanding, you greet a dragon with anger and spears, you should expect a frosty reception – or is that a fiery reception?
  2. Dragons often feel misjudged and condemned and respond out of fear – they find it hard to show you their true personalities and strengths
  3. You should follow a dragon rider’s example and greet her with kindness, understanding and dead fish (okay maybe chocolate would work better).
  4. You have to earn a dragon’s trust. They do not take kindly to Berk Vikings bad mouthing them to other Berks.
  5. Every dragon has a soft spot – her children. Have faith in her detailed understanding of her children.
  6. All dragons are different – treat them as individuals. If you work with you dragon closely you will soon learn how to get the best out of her.

Okay back in the real world again.  By now you will probably have guessed that Waxy’s school are again at the centre of my distress. At the moment I have 2 choices – continue to let them drag me down and push me over the edge. Or, find a glimmer of hope and amusement, and cling onto it for as long as it takes for me to regain my strength and resilience (or at least write this #WASO post).

Between a rock and a hard place.

At the beginning of this week I wrote a post, titled ‘Tiger feet’ about the emotional but ultimately cathartic, rollercoaster that I found myself on with Bumble and Buzzbee.

What I didn’t say in that post (because it wasn’t relevant) was 30 minutes after Buzzbee’s meltdown, I received a phone call from mother that turned my recovering internal ‘calm’ back into a broken hearted ‘storm’ and it has knocked me sideways this week.

Without going into the gory and very personal details of it. Monday night I learnt that one of my cousins had died, leaving my auntie and the rest of my dad’s side of the family devastated and in absolute shock, myself included.

Most of my dad’s family live close by to each other, as does my sister, so they are all able to be there for each other at this time.

**warning: selfish comment to come** On the other hand, I do not live near my family home and much like when my grandparents died. I am left to deal with it on my own and in private – OK I have Bumble but it’s not the same.

For practical reasons (the boys wouldn’t cope) it is not possible for me to be with them at this time and I know when it comes to the time as a family we will unite to lay him to rest, Bumble will as always find a way to ensure that I can get away to attend the funeral. On my own, as always!

Please, please don’t get me wrong, if you are reading this thinkimg I am bitter and twisted about the situation. This is not the case, but it has reared a feeling of resentment for me about the choices and sacrifices I have had to make being the boys’ mum – As Freddie Mercury sang “I am the great pretender”.

This week I have also met with our new PASW and while in the long term (or should I say for as long as she is with the team) I am beginning to think that, maybe she is someone who I can work with (so far she is really demonstrating that she ‘gets it’ and she understood when I said “sometimes I just need to know my experience is being validated and not dismissed”). Yet I still kept her at arm’s length during the meeting. Each time she began to show any sign of empathy or concern for the impact of parenting the boys, I could feel my whole body tensing up with emotional discomfort and alarm bells were ringing saying “Be careful what you say next. Don’t give her the wrong idea”.

Again my “Freddie” switch was flicked. Although I am not completely convinced she was fooled, but decided to not push it.

not ok

OK enough about my woes! This week has been a mixed week, Buzzbee has been up and down more times than an elevator and boy, has he been a stubborn so in so at times this week. On more than one occasion, when it has come to getting him to do his work, I have come up against a giant (ok, a 133cm) brick wall and proved challenging to persuade him to do what was asked – actually it has taken us all week just to do one piece of work, which once he finally started and finished it he was extremely chuffed with himself. One of the many things we have learnt about Buzzbee (and I kind of forgot at the beginning of the week) is the more you make it clear to him you want him to do something, the more he will dig his heels in. The trick is to make him think it has been his choice and that he is in control – forget threatening to not let him go on his tablet or computer, or anything like that because this boy has staying power and when fear of working/failure is driving him, personal enjoyment and privileges just are not on his radar. Well, not until he decides he wants them anyway.

On the flip side, this week the staff at his forest school commented on how amenable and delightfully helpful he had been this week (last few weeks he has been a little prickly and dug his heels in a few times over activities that he felt uncomfortable with). In fact, when I arrived to collect him I could hear him shrieking with delight all the way from the car park. Unbeknown to me, this was because he was having a water fight with the staff and children. A fact I very soon found out when he raced over and threw himself into my arms to give me a hug and a kiss as always – soaking wet boy + hugs = very damp mummy (but I’ll forgive him because he gives such good hugs).

waterfight

Beeswax’s school have been in contact several times over this week, mostly winding me up big time with their petty concerns and stating the bleeding obvious “Beeswax is demonstrating childish and silly behaviour and allowing himself to get drawn into negative foolishness. We feel Waxy is extremely emotionally immature for his age and compared to his peers” – Funny that! They seem to have forgotten to look at his records and see that his previous therapist had noted that his emotional age was significantly lower than his chronological age. If that is their biggest worry with him, then I will swap my weekends with them anytime – from 3.30 when he walked in the door yesterday he has been on TOP FORM and in BATTLE MODE.

The school have always underestimated the impact Waxy’s early history has had on him because he is so blooming good at hiding it from them and presenting himself at school as being extremely precocious and articulate, so they forget about the other side of him and refuse to take it into account.

woman-frustrated-1

Rather than my usual, getting into a pointless exercise/dialogue where I for the hundredth time find myself attempting to get them to take a step back and look at what he may be trying to tell them (In this case. Girlfriend trouble and they are STILL talking to him about GCSE options and repeatedly moving the goal posts for him). No instead I did something probably very foolish and I most certainly need my head read because rather than ague with them again, I have instead put my name forward to stand for the parent governor position that is currently available – in my head the time it sounded like a good idea, now I am wondering what the heck I have done. Not that I will need to worry because there is another adopter I know well also putting herself forward and she will most certainly be elected to the post and do exactly what I planned to do but with so much more style and experience.

Please accept my apologies for my rambling this week. Lots going on and brain not functioning at optimum level.

On a positive note: Today we have achieved the unthinkable and after a VERY slow start leaving the house. We have managed a pleasant and fun few hours as a family with Beedog visiting a beautiful local Rhododendron garden/walk. The boys had a great time racing around all the colourful and aromatic bushes and trees and Beedog was in ‘scent heaven’, although I am pretty sure the bluebells did not appreciate her flaking out on them at one point. Oh and despite Waxy and Bumble having a silverback’ moment before leaving the house, Bumble and I have got to enjoy a precious few hours feeling like a ‘normal’ family and enjoying being in the boys company rather than playing referee or ‘good cop/bad cop’

bluebellThis post was written as part of this weeks’ The Adoption Social #WASO.

Trauma Bond Olympics 2015

trrauma bond

Welcome to the ‘Trauma Bond’ Olympics, WASO fans.

For a little over 2 weeks, our youngest competitor, Buzzbee has been competing in the highly misunderstood ‘Trauma Bond’ Olympics with our eldest competitor, Beeswax.

The last 4 days have seen our eldest competitor return to his training ground to regroup, and our youngest competitor taking advantage of the rest period to attempt to re-focus himself in preparation for the return from training of his greatly adored idol, Beeswax, but as the days drew closer the nervous anticipation could be felt throughout the Home and Away training grounds.

This weekend’s event have already been in full swing for several hours and the adjudicator’s therapeutic mojo has already boarded a plane destined for Bora Bora , after having to issue numerous warning to the competitors about un-sportsman like behaviour and a breakdown in team communications – only 2 days left to go!

borabora

Gold, Silver and Bronze medals are already stacking up in the ‘stroppy relay’ and ‘extreme hurling/throwing’ events. As well as the ‘extreme control championship triathlon’ and ‘0-100 dysregulation race.

As always we have a colourful array of skills in explicit and dramatic insults, swearing and threats and it is going to go down to the wire who will be awarded the gold medal in this extremely stressful event – I can tell you one person who will not be winning any medals, and that is the adjudicator!

Over at the trampoline arena we can see that the competitors are gearing themselves up for their second attempt today at proving they are the ‘Ultimate’ champion at outdoing the other with backflips, summersaults and not forgetting our youngest competitor’s signature street dancing dance off challenge to his older, yet more inexperienced competitor – here is hoping that this event runs without the need for the adjudicator to issue more warnings – Oops spoke too soon! The adjudicator has just had to step in and call a 10 minute ‘half-time’ after unauthorised equipment has been taken into the arena to gain advantage over each other and tensions are rising.

During the afternoon we have witnessed Beeswax warming up for the ‘hurdling and 100 metre dash’ after being unsuccessful in the ‘Wind your little brother up until he explodes’ event but as of yet he is undecided whether he should enter this event, knowing that it may result in an electronic disqualification – No! He has thrown caution to the wind and not only entered this event but took his time and arrived at the finish 1 hour later than expected, and completely unable to understand why the adjudicator is upset with him.

As the day draws to a close and the competitors begrudgingly retire to their separate changing rooms to watch separate movies, while the adjudicator takes a deep breath and FINALLY manages to prepare herself something to eat before sitting down to watch ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, while not being able to help herself, overanalysing the events of today – Where did she go wrong? What could she have done better? Is she out of her depth? Is this it, is should she start getting used to seeing many more LONG and TENSE events every weekend?

Tomorrow is another but one in which we will undoubtedly see more ‘Trauma Bond Olympic’ activities with the return of the track and motor events -‘supermarket dash’, ‘car wrestling’ and not to be missed ‘fastest to make mum pull the car over for safety’ race – Both competitors are highly decorated medal holders and record-breakers in these event and they will be hoping to add yet more medals to their collection.

But who will win Gold and will they succeed in re-traumatising themselves and each other in the process for the umpteenth time today?

How many more weekends will this event continue for?

When will the external officials sit up and take notice of the repeated electronic communications and requests to look into the needs of the competitors, as well as their referee and adjudicator who are beginning to question their own skills in mediating between both competitors?

Only time will tell! Watch this space!

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